Thoughts penned in the midst

How many blogs begin with an "I", go on to narrate a personal experience or feelings and are mostly an expression of, at times, thoughts not worth bringing forth in a conversation or perhaps an essay. This might be just one of those blog entries.

I, for one, am a person who sides with extremes. On the surface, I may put on a moderate facade, but inside it's a violent firy extremism that takes sides and prefers this over that and him over him and her over her and sev puri over dahi puri! If I like Hindustan Times on Sunday, then no other newspaper would suffice. If I like a certain movie, no argument in its disfavor would make me budge an inch from my like-ometer reading. On a more serious note, my disdain for certain things and people shall always keep me all twisted inside around them. No amount of smiles or pleasentries shall unwind the knots inside. I like my chai a certain way and no other version shall please me! I want what I want, and that perhaps, is the source of all my joys and sorrows.
My preferences may fade in lieu of the circumstances but there are times when I am inadvertently caught between two extremes, unable to act or act with a little less of myself! This is one of those times. I am in India, in a little corner of the world I can always call my own. A kitchen, a study room, a verandah etched into my being over years of growing up and learning to walk, feel and learn. Every memory I have and shall have would inevitably be linked to the ones I once lived within these walls. I am back to the time where I eat each meal just the way I liked it, ingredients in the most perfect proportions as they can be ever in my head, chai the way I like best and yet I miss the warmth and comfort of my black coffee.. House Blend, my CS classes and my own little simulation window, and the sweet nothings that get poured into my ears while I am half asleep, half awake and completely in bliss from my bf from across the world!
Even though the list of things I have to miss isn't long, it seems that even little things done everyday beckon you, become a part of that "you" - the one you are in your little corner of your own little world. A "you", you create, a snuggly little nook filled with expressos and the sound of CS lectures :D!

On begging

You beg and beg and beg and then you run out of the energy to beg? No! You quit when you have been pushed to surrendering the last drops of your humility and kicked in you stomach like a rabies-ridden dog with an unbearable stench.

from hot chocolate to chai

sometimes u really need that perfect cup of chai .. because that's the best you can extract out of life at that point.. fortunately (or unfortunately) I just made a perfect cup of chai thereby rescuing myself from the ultimate denial of comfort.. of losing that one last hope of feeling good .. of savoring something so perfect that even the most imperfect of situations in life can be forgotten in those few moments of innocuous sweet gingery bliss..