there are places i remember

So its happening. The night we were in Lt lawns before Rajhans left and we took this video, I was saying to myself that some days later this will make me cry. It didn’t happen though until today when Luv left my room and I knew that things wont ever be the same. Ofcourse we’ll meet once in a while may be talk, go out , chat, spam but still it wont be the same. This time is gone. An era has come to end. Not that I enjoyed every bit of it. I was pained at times, bored too but I would still cherish the time we all spent together and remember it. I was once reading a book in which one of the characters tries to freeze all the beautiful moments in his mind as images(it was shadow lines I guess) and I have so many such flashes frozen in my memory, so many of them, so many voices, moments, laughter, dayas, disgust, whatnot and yet I know I would still not be able to recreate the same vibrant bunch with all of that put together, not in my mind and never around me. When Narra left yesterday I saw his auto leave. I turned around and went happily inside h10 feeling nothing. I hadn’t yet realized that what I just saw was permanent He wont be staying in h8 anymore and his room wont be next to Prajjval’s and I wont ever have to go to room no. 271, H8. Life is singular. I know it doesn’t really matter, or does it? I can still have fun with narra at some place. He can still give me Baski fundae on a tisuue paper in a restaurant and say things like “When you push the ball it pushes you back. Newton’s Law.”, during a tense timeout meaning to say every word of it with utmost intention to convey to us that we weren’t handling the ball correctly. And yet I turned around after seeing him leave with an ease difficult to comprehend now. But it wasn’t the same today. When all such images just caught me unaware as I saw Luv leave. Don’t tell me we’ll meet at convo. I know we may meet again maybe even after convo.

I remember watching this episode from wonder years. The three kids live in a locality where there is an adjoining forest area with which so many of their memories are associated. The local authorities sell this area to some builders. The kids try their best to stop these people from cutting that forest off. A night before the forest is to be cut they are sitting in the forest trying to still figure out how to save it. They then realize that they wont be able to. So instead they play hide and seek that night in the forest. The episode ends with these kids playing hide and seek with Dave Matthews “In my life..” playing in the background.

There are places i remember
all my life though some have changed
some forever not for better
some have have gone
and some remain
all these places have their moments
with lovers and friends i still can recall
some are dead and some are living
in my life ive loved them all

but of all these friends and lovers
there is noone compares with you
and these memories lose there meaning
when i think of love as something new
though i know ill never lose affection
for people and things that went before
and i know ill often stop and think about them
in my life i love you more

In My Life, Dave Matthews

“I hope someday we’ll be able to call some place shack too.

I hope not.”

Amrita Mahalay’s blog

I don’t know if I have said what I wanted to. There are feelings I am just not able to express. Either there are no words to express them or I have heard so many of them so many times recently that even my feelings seem to be have been clichéd. But I know one thing for sure that I wont ever write something like this addressed to such a big group ever. It’s a relief somehow for the ‘unbearable heaviness of being’ is weighing me down and I cannot get myself to be practical atleast for now and take it as just another thing that had to happen in the course of life. It’s realization as well of what so many small things when put together can mean and how they can enrich your life with experiences you are incapable of being a part of alone.